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<title>mo(u)rning by KeybladeCryptography</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22660060">mo(u)rning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeybladeCryptography/pseuds/KeybladeCryptography'>KeybladeCryptography</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:16:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>804</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22660060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeybladeCryptography/pseuds/KeybladeCryptography</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Axel reflects.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Axel &amp; Roxas &amp; Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Axel &amp; Vexen (Kingdom Hearts), Axel &amp; Zexion (Kingdom Hearts), Ienzo &amp; Lea (Kingdom Hearts), Isa &amp; Lea (Kingdom Hearts)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>mo(u)rning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Smoke rises languidly from the countless rows of chimneys, curling up in the corners of Axel’s veins and visions like Isa’s neighbor’s cat in the windowsill. See, there’s a hearth in every home in Radiant Garden because the summer heat haze, filled with the intoxicating sweetness of a thousand flowers in bloom (Marluxia would have liked it) freezes into a winter cold snap before you can blink. Lea had never cared for winter much but Isa had, so he’d put on his stupid puffy coat and trudged through the snow to start snowball fights with Squall or race Yuffie down the hill on handmade sleds. The best part was returning home and feeling the warmth of the fireplace on his frozen fingers. Now he can feel all the fires below him burning <em>like Vexen did, an exponential fever pitch that left behind only ashes of an icicle-sharp mind in its wake, falling like the snow Lea always hated</em> in the hollow cavity of his chest. The fires crawl up the bricks and start to streak the dawning sky.</p><p>He swings his legs over the edge of the bridge overlooking the borough. He’s tall enough now that his heels collide with the support beam on the swing back, and a soft thud echoes out around him, disturbing the stillness. Lea would spent countless hours here. The sun would light him up from the inside out as its first rays stretched over the horizon line and so he’d sneak out of the house and sit here and watch the city awaken. Aerith would greet him sometimes after getting up early to tend to her lilies and he’d always be the first to hear the morning bell chime from the castle. His mama always told him to get down from there, told him he’d fall, <em>like Zexion did once the replica finally let him go, once-brilliant eyes glazed over like the medical models Ienzo played with as dolls when he was half Lea’s age. He looked up at Axel with that same childish terror before fading, a life cut short twice.</em> She was right.</p><p>Axel smiles but there’s no mirth. He’s come full circle, from watching the sunrise to watching the sunset with Roxas and . . . someone else. A headache starts to bloom between and behind his eyes, the same pain as pricking his fingers when Aeleus made him help tend to the roses. He remembers dark hair, like the last drops of night before dawn and blue eyes like the summer skies that watched over him no matter what seedy part of the kingdom he found himself in. It feels like she . . . yes, she, that’s right . . . is watching over him now but that’s not fair. He was supposed to watch over her, supposed to prevent her from washing out to sea <em>like the seashells she collected scattered all around his room, restoring color to a monochrome palace, supposed to bring her back.</em></p><p>He was supposed to bring both of them back but he failed. He watched Roxas’s back as he walked away, as the stormy night swallowed the gold of his hair and the light of his <em>are you sure you don’t have a</em> heart. Flame became moth and by the time Axel chased after him, the timing was wrong and the reasons were wrong and all of it was wrong like the first time someone pointed a keyblade at him and meant it, clutching Isa close as black metal the color of the creeping shadows in the basement carved his heart out. It wouldn’t be the last time and Axel half-hoped Roxas would extract it again so he didn’t have to feel that hurt, but best friends don’t let each other bear that pain alone. Axel only burned his fragile wings as Roxas flew away, whisked off by the wind <em>like Ventus used to knock him off his feet</em> and carried into the sky instead of the sea.</p><p>The sun is reaching for him now, just the same as when he was Lea, but he can’t accept its embrace this time. He rises to his feet, standing on the edge <em>between life and death, existence and non-existence, heartless and overflowing with feeling</em> of the bridge and watches the city, his city, his home once upon a time one last time. He has to leave, <em>before Aerith tends to her lilies or his mother scolds him someone sees him and sets fire to everything, everything, burn it all</em> his plans. He turns his back to the light and steps into the familiar darkness <em>like the scribbles of ink on his first lab reports</em>. He rubs his eyes; maybe the passage of a decade is starting to take its toll on the charms beneath them. By the time the sun’s finished rising, he’ll be saying goodnight and goodbye.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for getting past the lame pun in the title. You can find me over on <a href="https://twitter.com/CrepusculeChaos">Twitter</a> if you want.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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